#1
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Baby !
Baby
who ?
Baby love, my baby love.... !
#2
What do you get if you cross a baby with soldiers
?
Infantry !
#3
What do you get if you cross a mountain and a
baby
?
A cry for Alp !
#4
How does a baby ghost cry?
"Boo-hoo!
Boo-hoo!"
#5
Why does a mother carry
her baby?
The baby
can't carry the mother.
#6
I got a letter from my sister.
She just had a
baby. But she didn't say whether it's a boy or girl.
So I don't
know if I'm an uncle or an aunt.
#7
Why do we dress baby girls in pink and baby boys

in blue?
Because they can't dress themselves.
#8
Little Johnny 's next door neighbors had a baby.

Unfortunately, the little baby was born with no ears.

When
they arrived home from the hospital, the parents invited Little

Johnny's family to come over and see their new baby. Little Johnny's

parents were very afraid that their son would have a wise crack to say

about the baby so the dad had a long talk with little Johnny before
going
to the neighbors.

He said "Now, son... that poor baby
was born without any ears. I want
you to be on your best behavior
and not say one word about his ears or
I am really going to spank
you when we get back home."

"I promise not to mention his ears at
all" said Little Johnny.

At the neighbors home, Little Johnny
leaned over in the crib and
touched the baby's hand He looked at
it's mother and said "Oh What a
Beautiful little baby". The mother
said "Thank you very much, Little
Johnny."

He then
said, "this baby has perfect little hands and perfect little
feet.
Why... just look at his pretty little eyes.... Did his doctor say

that he can see good?"

The Mother said "why, yes Johnny... his
doctor said he has 20/20
vision.

Little Johnny said "well,
its a darn good thing, cause he sure
couldn't wear glasses!!!
#9
A family of ducks were
walking down the road
when an 18-wheeler ran over all but 1 baby. Farther
down the road a
family of skunks were walking the other way when the
same
18-wheeler ran over all but one baby. The duck and the skunk finally
met
each other and the duck said, "Excuse me, my mom died down the
road.
Would you tell me what I am?" "Well", said the skunk "You have

webbed feet, a beak, and feathers. You must be a duck." "Thanks" said

the duck; then the skunk said, "My mom died down the road too, will

you tell me what I am?" "Well", said the duck, "Your black, your

white, & your mom's dead, you must be O.J.'s kid"
#10
Q: What's pink and red and can't turn
round
in a corridor?
A: A baby with a javellin through its head.
#11
Q: What's brown and in a baby's diaper?
A:
Michael Jackson's hand !!
#12
Q:
Where does a white baby go when it dies?

A: Heaven

Q: What does it get?

A: Wings

Q:
What does it become?

A: An angel


Q: Where does a
black baby go when it dies?

A: Heaven

Q: What does it get?


A: Wings

Q: What does it become?

A: A Bat!
#13
A baby polar bear goes up to his dad and asks,

"Dad, am I pure polar bear?" The dad replies, "Sure you are son. I'm

all polar bear, my parents are all polar bear, your mom is all
polar
bear, and her parents are all polar bear."
Still unsure the
baby polar bear goes to his mom and asks, "Mom, am I
pure polar
bear?" She answers, "Of course you are honey. I'm all
polar bear, your
father is all polar bear, my parents are all polar bear,
and his
parents are all polar bear."

Still not convinced the baby polar
bear goes to his grandparents and
asks, "Grandmom...Grandpop...am I
all polar bear?" His grandmother
answers, "Of course you are
sweetie. We're all polar bear, your mother is
all polar bear, your
father is all polar bear, and his parents are all
polar bear. Why do you
ask sweetie?"

The baby polar bears replies, "Because I'm
f****** freezing!"
#14
Dewey and Odell met
on the Brownsville main
street. "Say," said Dewey, "Ah hurd yew and
yore wife is goin' ta
night school ta take Spanish lessons. How cum?"
"Uh huh," answered
Odell. "We went and adopted us a little Mexican
baby, and we wanna
be able ta understand him when he gets old enough ta
talk!"
#15
Q: How many baby sitters
does it take to
change a light bulb?
A: None, They don't make Pampers small enough.
#16
Mother: Why is there a strange baby in the
crib?
Daughter: You told me to change the baby.
#17
What did
the Pharaohs use to keep their
babies quiet?
Egyptian dummies.
#18
Three men were discussing at a bar about

coincidences. The first man said, " my wife was reading a "tale of two

cities" and she gave birth to twins"
"That's funny", the second man
remarked, "my wife was reading 'the
three musketeers' and she
gave birth to triplets"
The third man shouted, "Good God, I have to
rush home!"
When asked what the problem was, he exclaimed, " When I
left the
house, my wife was reading Ali baba and the forty
Thieves"!!!
#19
Mum, is it true my baby sister came
from
Heaven?
Yes, that's right.
Well, I don't blame God for chucking
her out.
#20
Why did the baby monster put his father
in
the freezer?
Because he wanted frozen pop.