Once upon a time there were five apples
was the cowboy?
None - because they were all redskins.
What is red and goes putt, putt, putt?
outboard apple.
How does an apple a day keep the doctor

When you take careful aim.
How do you
make an apple puff?
Chase it
round the garden
School lunches are not generally popular with

those that have to eat them, and sometimes with good reason.
kind of pie do you call this ?" asked one schoolboy

"What's it taste of ?" asked the cook.
"Then it's
apple pie, the plum pie tastes of soap."
Fred came rushing in to his Dad. "Dad!" he
"is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away?"

"That's what they say," said his Dad.
"Well, give me an apple quick ?
I've just broken the doctor's
How do you get the most apples at Halloween?

Take a snorkel.
Two boys were eating a snack lunch in the school
yard. One
had an apple and the other said, "Watch out for worms
won't you!" The
first one replied, "Why should I? They can watch out
The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to
the apple.
What do you get if you cross an apple with a

A crab apple !
First apple: You look down in the dumps. What's
Second apple: Worms, I think.
What lives in apples and is an
avid reader?

A bookworm !
Why didn't the two worms go
into Noah's ark
in an apple?
Because everyone had to go in pairs !
What did one
maggot say to the other who was
stuck in an apple?
Worm your way out of that one, then!
The desk sergeant answered the phone, and at once

a woman began screaming. "You've got to help me! There's a giant

gray thing in my yard, and it's pulling apples off the tree with
tail!" "What's he doing with the apples?" the sergeant asked.
"If I
told you," the woman cried, "you wouldn't believe me!"